SELF

Three Reflections After 33 Years

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I’m always reflecting on life. It’s really become an integral part of who I am. I believe it is important to derive meaning from our lives and spend the time to reflect on lessons learned and find ways to incorporate them into our lives. Is it even possible to not incorporate what we’ve learned into our lives moving forward? I sincerely like the idea of getting older (now would be
the time to call me crazy), I feel like great maturity comes with age and in line with that idea, I feel like I now know what I like (and dislike) more than ever. My thirties, or what I have experience with them so far, have been truly enjoyable. I am also confident that as I move forward through my third decade that I will continue to experience more positivity and self-confidence. In the spirit of my birthday, I was inspired to share a few of my personal reflections.

Lust for Louis

The very first time I saw a photograph of Audrey Hepburn holding a Vuitton Monogram Speedy handbag my bones started to ache. I knew I had to have one. Seeing as I was quite young and impossibly broke, the time between the craving and the execution was quite widespread. The day it was time to seize my dreams (yes, it was that serious!) I walked into Louis Vuitton in
downtown Montreal and purchased my first Speedy handbag. I loved the way it smelled. Further, I loved the way it looked, with everything. It was so cute and classic. I loved it dearly, but it didn’t do what it was supposed to. It didn’t live up to my longing, and in fact after a short couple months, it became just another cute handbag. Sure the quality surpassed of any of my other
handbags, but nonetheless, it was just a tool to transport my heaps of ‘stuff’ around the city. My material delusion was shattered and at that moment I knew I would never view any accessory in the same way. I learned something. Although I went on to slowly grow my collection I went in without any grand expectation following that experience. I no longer needed or expected a handbag to succeed in fulfilling what would only be occupied by self- love and acceptance. It sounds slightly cliché, however, it was a real teaching moment in my life. An after-school style lesson in materialism and self-esteem. Thank you, Vuitton, I love your handbags but they’ll never love me back.

90’s R&B is Forever

So music has changed. A lot. Sure some songs, artists and genres are timeless, sure. But some current top 40 is shit and I find myself continuously romancing my 90’s R&B playlist like I mean it. There is something so deeply hypnotizing about the passion of Jodeci, harmonizing of Boyz II Men and the sensual runs of Xscape. I suppose everyone clings to the music of their
generation (cue my father and his love of CCR). It is a sweet realization that my love of 90’s R&B is a large part of who I am and I reckon it is something to be proud of. I have so many vivid memories related to my most beloved genre of music and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. Some things never go out of style and my rhythm and blues playlist is one of them. I’ll be honest in saying I listen to Dru Hill while in the shower EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. and I couldn’t be more proud.

Friends Are Fluid

This one is important. And perhaps it is the most profound of the three. If you thought that you’d have the same friends your entire life, you’d be naive. You’d also be assuming that a) you’d stay the same person for always, and b) that everyone grows at the same pace. People come and go based on where we are in life and what our current priorities are. Sure, you mayhave a few friends that remain strong for twenty or thirty years, but often enough who we connect with changes throughout our life journey. I think it is important to embrace who comes into our lives at different stages. It is my experience that each phase is not without purpose, and I’m glad that I’ve had some really amazing people walk me through some really amazing (and
tragic) times in my life. The key to lasting friendship is the ability to maintain your common ground in one way or another, and as we internally shift that commonality may change. If a friendship is based on authentic connection and humour, which some of mine most certainly are, the chances of it lasting are better. Let’s be frank, we all know I’m always going to be real and
funny. If you create friendships based upon a common temporary experience (hello grad school colleagues and fellow pottery enthusiasts!) the likelihood that this relationship will be intensely active forever might be diminished. This is okay. No hard feelings. The ability to embrace relationships for the season they are meant to be functional is an act of ‘surrender’. Shout out to
both my transitory and forever friends, I have nothing but love and gratitude for you all.

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