If you’re a blogger or a mom active on social media, you’re likely to have heard of Heydy Lopez. Since launching her blog Raising Jay & Abel back in April 2015, this mom of three seems to have it all figured out. From working a full-time job as a legal administrative assistant, raising three boys, and running a successful blog, there is no telling what this powerhouse is up to next.
As social media becomes a bigger presence in people’s everyday lives it can be hard to distinguish between what we’re meant to see versus what we want to see. Everything online is portrayed as “picture perfect”, when in-fact it’s far from reality. Heydy does an excellent job at showing what true authenticity looks like and is not ashamed to show when the going gets tough.
I’m sure that some of you (myself included) are curious to know how someone who’s only 26 can raise a family of 5 and still manage to chase her dreams one day at a time (and look fabulous doing so…) Well believe it or not, it’s not an impossible task, it just requires a lot of dedication and hardwork.
The other week I was able to pick Heydy’s brain on her thoughts and advice surrounding chasing your dreams while having kids:
Sam: Do you find it’s been hard to achieve and chase your dreams with three kids, then say when you had two, or even one?
Heydy: Considering that I just had baby #3, I would definitely say yes, it is much much harder. When you have two, you can at least find some down time in between naps and school. Now, that I have Isaiah… let’s just say he takes up any free time I had before!
Sam: How do you prioritize your time and “needs” and balance that with your kids needs/wants?
Heydy: Well, for starters, I’m writing this at 11:00 pm. so that should give you some idea of how I balance work, life, and play. Most days are a zoo around here but that’s organized chaos for you!
Fortunately, I have both a supportive partner and family members that help me when I need it. So if something cannot wait until the dead of night to be completed, I can call in my reinforcements. However, that is not always the case; then I’m left to prioritize what is the most important – aka my kids.
Balance is a unicorn everyone is searching for, but we all know it doesn’t exist. I give myself a lot of grace. Make my lists small and if something is not going to elevate me in my future, I don’t do it.
Sam: Do you goal set? If so what are your goals and how do you achieve them?
Heydy: I do and I don’t. I have to be extremely realistic about the time I have when I am setting goals. Have smaller goals that lead to a bigger end goal – it makes it more achievable.
For example, my blog. My blog was a super simple “diary” type of blog when I first started. However, with tons of sleepless nights and dedication, I’ve been able to make it something bigger. A platform to share my Teen Mom story with other and potential young moms who may need encouragement to push on with their struggle and/or fight to be disassociated with the negative Teen Mom stigma.
Sam: Many people feel once you have kids your dreams are put on hold – is there really such a thing as “having it all”?
Heydy: No there isn’t. What is “having it all” anyways? What one person may think it is, could be very different from what another person may think.
For me, having it all doesn’t come with fame or wealth. It comes with being with family, making memories and cherishing your life. I personally won’t “have it all” until I see my children succeeding and being happy with who they are. Because my goal is to give them a better chance at life.
Sam: What is a good piece advice you’d like to give other parents (moms, dads) who feel like they’ve lost out on their dreams?
Heydy: As cliche as it sounds. Don’t’ give up. When it seems that life has handed you the shittiest of cards, keep persevering. I know a little something about shitty cards and if I had let them define my future, I definitely wouldn’t be here typing this bad boy up. As the saying goes – #yolo!
Sam: Tell me, what are your dreams?
Heydy: Chasing normality has always been a big thing for me. I come from a broken childhood. My childhood dream was to have a “normal” life. A life filled with joy and memories. I have that now.
I have been extremely blessed with how my life turned out. I’m thankful that I now can share that life with people who may be in a rut. Moreover, I hope to continue to encourage other young moms to become whoever and whatever they aspire to be. I want my life to be an example of hope and perseverance.
Who knows, maybe one day, all that hard work will pay off and I can enjoy early retirement 😉
If you’re interested in knowing more about this amazing mama and watching her motherhood journey follow along:
Photography by: Julie Christine Photography